Thoughts on Being Nana

Being a Nana has opened up a floodgate of conversation within a realm to which I am a newcomer. I thought people would be surprised that I have a grandchild since I look so young (apparently another of my illusions). Alas, they nod and smile and say something like, “isn’t it the best thing, EVER?” And it is.

During one of those dialogues last week, a friend told me he never says ‘no’ to his grandchildren. They want chocolate? Yes. They want TV? Yes. They want this and that and everything in between? Yes.

I asked my daughter today, who is restricting computer exposure for her 13 month old because it makes our little one techno-crazy, if she wants us to say no to computers too. I want to respect my daughter as a parent and she also respects and understands the softer role of a grandparent so we work through things because we want to be supportive of one another and do the best for our baby.

Sometimes that means saying no to Gabrielle. As always, it’s hard on the no-sayer, moreso than on the child, even when I was a parent. I remember deciding long ago in the thick of things that consistency, reason, and loving boundaries were important in providing our children with a sense security and trust. A child who has little experience with loving discipline can become an adult who struggles with self-discipline. And the battle is hard enough without coming into it completely green.

Boy, am I thankful I am no longer the primary source of discipline in my kids’ lives and I certainly don’t intend to take on that role in my grandkids lives – ever. I will, however, applaud and support our kids’ parenting by cooperation – in my soft (and youthful) Nana way.