Grandparenting with Heart

Across the room, my daughter sits with her 7 week old daughter, both relaxed and quiet after a satisfying breastfeed. It’s serenity that is short-lived, however, as the dreaded syringe of Rimididine and a quarter of a baby aspirin crushed in a tablespoon or so of water are plunged into our little one’s resistant mouth. It’s time for her night meds and I also dread the process.

My daughter reminds me that it’s better than the alternative, blood clots in her surgically installed BT shunt and aspirin acid that burns her throat when she spits up. This is the price she pays for being born with Tetralogy of Fallot, a congenital heart defect that affects 1 in every 10,000 live births.

There are so many good things along the way, of which include love and prayers from dear ones, some of whom we have never met and the inspiration of observing our grown children behave with maturity and composure as they suffer alongside their daughter. There is the miracle of her recovery, her endearing and eager smile, the knitting of her titanium-wired sternum and the mending of her 4 inch incision, drainage tube scar and IV sites. We are ever more aware of the fragility of life and the grace of God on our family. Our hearts are full of wonder and gratitude at the gift of our very own miracle.

This is our first experience as grandparents and it’s not exactly what we thought it might be. I took for granted my healthy births and healthy babies. Not everyone’s path is that easy. I have said many times how glad I am that we are not pioneering in this department of pediatrics. Medical research, infant cardiology training, pediatric anesthesiology, the advance of electronics making possible the miracle of micro technology, and a host of parents, children, doctors, nurses and technicians who have gone before us these past 30 years create possibilities for children born with TOF. And not just any child, but our very own grandbaby. All of a sudden pediatric cardiology is personal.

There is a verse that frequents my thoughts these days, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6) I learned it early in my Christian life and it helps me put things in perspective. I don’t understand why bad things happen to babies or anyone for that matter. The words of this ancient sage remind me that there is much that is out of my control and hope rightly placed is a step in a solid direction.

As I enter my 5^th decade, I realize that there are very few things I know for sure. But this one thing I do know: God is loving and just and is involved with each of us personally. It pains me to see Gabrielle suffer, but I know who holds her life in His hands and I trust Him for the best for her.

Dear Gabrielle, Amanda and Marc, “’I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 29:11-14