The whole positive thinking philosophy has got me puzzled. As I understand it, it’s a belief in the power of mind over matter especially in determining outcomes and lending happiness to otherwise difficult circumstances. It’s the ability of the thinker to believe a positive spin ought to be applied toward the hoped-for or inevitable end.
Really?
Don’t get me wrong I love a cheery person and I like myself better when I don’t complain. I also understand that obstacle-based thinking can limit potential. Just think of all we would have missed if our pioneers had said, “it can’t be done”: going to the moon, splitting the atom, discovering America and antibiotics, in vitro heart surgery, to name a few!
Here’s where positive thinking runs amuck. When someone is diagnosed with cancer, for example, I sometimes hear it said that the person has a great attitude. What does that mean? Is she happy about her circumstances? Is she not able to face them? Is she hiding from the judgment that threatens to translate her upset into “she’s not handling things well”? Is she banking on a cure or resolve or a happy ending of another sort? Will her circumstances worsen because her positive outlook is not positive enough? You see where I’m going here?
I wonder how much freedom we give one another to just be who we are, reacting and responding to life as honestly as we can with what we have been given. Tears are natural, aren’t they? Sadness, anger, doubt, frustration, and empathy are for times when we hurt. Aren’t they? Is a healthy response equal to a positive one?
Sometimes Christian friends quote Philippians 4:8 as a way of promoting positive thinking or faith, as they define it. “Whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worth of praise, think about these things.” Within the context of the book of Philippians, I understand these words to speak to a model for integrity and excellence in behaviour, not the promotion of positive thinking. Is thinking in the positive really equal to faith in God? Isn’t the point the object of dependence and the power of the agent?
The reason I say this is because so much of the rest of the Bible allows for, expects and accommodates lament. 44% of the Psalms is lament, much of the book of Jeremiah, an entire book is entitled Lamentations, the latter prophets certainly lament, Jesus’ own experience in the Garden of Gethsemane, for example, are indications that when we face tough times we should be allowed (and allow others) to be and express upset. Why else would II Corinthians, chapter 1, verses 3-4 say, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”?
We live closer to St. Valentine’s intentions when we give people freedom from the burden of having to be positive. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Hi Sandi,
I agree that we need to be honest with our own feelings and not be afraid to express them to a certain extent. However, I don’t think positive thinking is a matter of mind over matter but perhaps a choice (use of our will, determination) to make the most of a situation or to view it in a more positive perspective. I haven’t had cancer so I can’t speak to that personally but I’ve faced pain and personal challenges. For a time there is sadness, anger,frustration, fear, perhaps even some depression (although I’ve never been clinically depressed)but then a choice of: do I want to continue living this way with these feelings? Can I see this situation from a different perspective (if it is unchangeable or nothing I can do to change it)? I know I have a generally positive personality (Bruce says I see the cup 3/4 full) and I can’t speak for others, but in my experience, modelling a positive outlook has helped our children “perk up” rather than stay grumbling about a situation – not serious issues but things like rain on a camping trip. Using humour to lighten the mood, etc. Will having a positive attitude change the outcome of a cancer diagnosis? – possibly for some people. Should they be permitted to grieve and be depressed? – of course. We are called to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. Just a few thoughts but I’m running out of time to get dinner and to handbell practice on time so I better go. Love, Fran