First off, let me just say that “Auto Draft” as you see in title is a default setting I am trying to fix. The title of this post (on the right side of your screen) is “Community”. Sorry for any inconvenience.
As a young person, forming existential thoughts around my place in family and beyond, I came to the mistaken conclusion that I was really on my own and if I wanted good for myself, it was going to be up to me. That kind of faulty thinking has taken some time to correct. My friend calls it, “lower self” thinking. I love that she has been in this head space before me.
The other bit of lower thinking that has misled me is that the need for isolation is quite necessary for an introverted personality. I call myself a friendly introvert, a quirk confirmed by Meyers-Briggs, the I Ching of personality indicators. Mr. Meyers and Mr. Briggs indicate that quiet time alone is the bubble bath of regenerators for introverts just as a weekend of partying is for extroverts. Yes, we need different settings to take care of ourselves but taking that “alone” thing to an extreme has led me to justify extended periods of isolation. My pastor once said, “The one the devil wants to destroy, he first isolates”. His statement reminds me of the scene in The Blue Planet DVD where the pack of wolves separate a young ibex from the herd, chase and tire it then move in for the kill. Isolation can lead to some pretty dark times where the feeling of loneliness can be deadly. I hear it can be terrifying.
Anyway, my point is that it’s hard to know what bits of a worldview are going to be helpful to a wholesome, productive, joy-filled life until a few of these things have been tried. That’s when you know if they work or not. It’s also when you realize how helpful other peoples’ lives are. Observing how people live and paying attention to how that plays out saves me a great deal of grief.
For the first time in my adult life, I live in a regular sort of neighbourhood. I see the kids behind us jumping on the trampoline and sharing a picnic on their deck. I love hearing their small voices drawing long and complicated pretend stories where the princess is often rescued by her hero and a feast satisfies when she isn’t.
Neighbourhoods are a great way to share resources too. Chris and Barb in the next yard over were pouring a concrete deck so we laid down a small sidewalk at the same time. We hired Brad, another neighbour, to build the forms. Garden tools are borrowed and lent, we help carry heavy things, I stepped in as temporary babysitter for Alyssa’s girls when her puppy jumped the fence and ran down the street. That was the time 2 year old Elizabeth taught me to draw Bambi with sidewalk chalk. I love living here among friends and in community.
Isolation doesn’t work for me. Community is a gift and I am beginning to think I was made for this!
