Orientation

Posted on September 6, 2013 by sandi

It’s been a full week at Regent College getting to know the ethos of the place, fellow students, faculty and staff as well as finding my way around UBC.

I’m not quite sure where to begin. How to take it all in and process it well enough to impart an accurate snapshot…

There is here a sense of calm, intelligent, movement toward the Living God as a community of diverse, complex, and very human souls. All aspects of personhood are cultivated and celebrated as we embrace the grace that has brought us here; for this particular time. There is nothing easy about Regent, except perhaps the name. Not the getting here, not the language, not the reading or writing or deconstruction of accepted ideas and presuppositions we have not been aware of until now. But there is the joy of being invited into something large and other-worldly and yet earthy and present. You can see how words are really quite inadequate.

Tomorrow the hardy among us are climbing the Grouse Grind and asking, “Can I do this?” It’s a common question this week, and not just about the climb.

I love these times in my life; where I know I do not have the tools to do what’s before me, whether it’s the stamina – physical, emotional or mental – or the knowledge or the resources of any kind. I love it because it reminds me of my frailty. I am weak and I love celebrating that. The perfect setting for growth and goodness and indications of God’s love and shalom in and through me; little me. What joy.

The orientation team forewarned us about the possibility of feeling overwhelmed by Thursday and they were right. Yes, I am feeling the effect of information overload but more so, deep gratitude for His gracious love. I find myself in wonderland! Do you suppose He had this in mind all along?

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In the City

Posted on August 25, 2013 by sandi

If a system were in place for frequent ferry miles, we would win the top prize, I’m sure. While attempting to live in Vancouver and get to know our Pt. Grey/Kitsilano neighbourhood, Island work for Gord was steady this summer and we are thankful. We are also looking forward to settling in here once my classes begin.

Living in the big city presents plenty of opportunity for exploring and when we can, we embrace it like tourists. Today, for example we walked from our place to Stanley Park to take in the 125 year celebrations since the park’s inception. I remember visiting often as a kid because my Grandma lived a stone’s throw from Lost Lagoon. Stanley Park is one of those magical places for me. It was especially so this weekend with all celebrations; an eclectic mix of musicians, vintage cars, artisan wares and plenty of street food.

photo (17)The other thing we enjoy in the city is being close to our kids and little granddaughter. James specializes in creating ethnic food and makes a mean Phad Thai. We are most happy to give him a reason to show off his culinairy skills. He and Siobhan offer us the sacred trust of caring for Eilidh when they need a bit of a break from their role as new parents. Again, only too happy to accommodate.Eilidh August 2013 3

It’s been fun to be spontaneous with family and friends. Brendan and Andrea joined us for dinner at the Jazz Cellar, Andrea and I took in a bit of antique shopping along Main Street, Gord and Bren ate hamburgers on Granville Island and watching fireworks from the rooftop garden gave us the thrill without the crowds. photo (22)Our sweet Gabrielle even joined us for a couple of days and we managed to find a cupcake boutique serving up the miniature versions with pink icing, just the way she likes them. The local library carried some of her favourite books and she found a nest in the spare bedroom to snuggle into. Amanda and Marc stayed overnight and Gord shared his favourite cinnamon bun breakfast spot with them. Yes, we are feeling quite at home.

We love the city and our new digs. It’s hard to believe we are nearly half way through our time here. So far, it’s been an adventure extraordinaire!P1010569

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Thinking about Work

Posted on July 24, 2013 by sandi

For 5 consecutive days last week I sat mesmerized with 30 students listening to the gentle and profound words of Paul Stevens. His co-professor, Rick Goossen talked about what entrepreneurial leadership looks like in the business world while Paul inspired us to consider work from God’s perspective.

The course syllabus listed a book by Parker Palmer, my current favourite writer, called The Active Life. Apparently, Dr. Palmer struggled with the weariness resulting from full engagement with…well, life. He swung, as I do, from frenzy to the contemplative end of slow-to-near-stopping as a means of regaining rest and perspective and then…back again. His pendulum swung further than mine and he very seriously considered joining a monastic order. His view is insightful, his writing clear and compelling.

One assignment for the Soul of Innovation course is to write a formal book review and so I am happily immersed in Palmer’s The Active Life. Here is a quote:

“Until we know hidden wholeness we will live in a world of dualisms, of forced but false choices between being and doing that result in action that is mere frenzy or in contemplation that is mere escape.” (Palmer, p. 29)

What is hidden wholeness? According to Annie Dillard, “This is given. It is not learned.” And it can only be given through humility because clues to our best work, that result from wholeness, originate from our natural inclinations. The path to wholeness circumvents the ego and has its roots in childhood. It’s encouraging to think about that. The clues are not obscure but at the core of my graced history.

What have you been doing and enjoying consistently since you were a child? Your response might be a key to understanding vocation in a completely new way.

 

Posted in Creativity, Faith, History, Imagination, Learning, Literature, Musings, Play | 1 Comment

Discernment

Posted on June 21, 2013 by sandi

There’s nothing like immersion when learning a new language, so they say. Even the language of spiritual discernment.

Discernment for believers in Jesus includes a spiritual element that needs attention if we are to hear what the Spirit of God says on any given matter. That’s where I am immersed these days as I prepare my final paper.

Gordon T. Smith, SPIR 619 professor, began class by asking these two questions of us:

What is Jesus saying to you at this particular time, in this particular circumstance?

How do you know it’s Jesus?

My role as student is to respond not only to the questions but also to the Spirit’s leading as I consider wisdom from our Christian heritage, the inner witness of the Spirit and my own affective, intellectual and spiritual sense in response.

Our two primary texts are John English’s book, Spiritual Freedom and Gordon Smith’s book, The Voice of Jesus.

There are more than a couple of things that strike me but I will begin by saying that the emphasis on a ‘real time’ encounter with the Living God through prayer is staggering. Somehow, the realization that the God of the universe enters into my space, my heart, my mind to say, “My child, I love you” feels miraculous all over again.

The other surprise is that He invites me to dialogue with Him about what He is inviting me into. The listening, silent response to his invitation to open the door and share the everydayness of life with Him evokes a deep sense of wonder at the personal, close interaction He loves. Here is one place that He shares His grace with me. Grace to respond, grace to listen, grace to recognize who I am, grace to accept His deep, deep love for me and all the diverse people of His creation.

Discernment is rooted in an encounter with the Holy of Holies. Not as a means of the dispensation of a blueprint for my life, or as a purely rational pros/cons exercise but within the intimacy of a relationship that is interactive, joyfilled, intelligent, challenging and benevolent.

Gordon asks us 4 questions in The Voice of Jesus (p. 197):

1. What do you tend to complain about?

2. What fundamental commitment (something you value) lies behind the point of frustration?

3. Is there anything you are doing or not doing that undermines your capactiy to fulfill this fundamental commitment?

4. What lies behind this pattern of behaviour?

Answering these questions honestly (difficult, I know) sheds light on our inner contradictions. Another key aspect to good discernment is Truth. And don’t we tell ourselves untruths so much of the time? Misguided perceptions and tainted interpretations become our truths and muddy insight’s waters making it hard to discern well.

“The basic difficulty is to attain detachment from our egotistical drives and to maintain a close union with Jesus. Such detachment and union are possible only through prayer and grace.” John English, Spiritual Freedom

“We hear the voice of Jesus from a posture of attentiveness and humility.”  Gordon Smith, The Voice of Jesus.

Humility is another key aspect of discerning well, and a big topic for another day. I suspect that I am not the one to speak on it, anyway. That much I can discern.

 

 

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Settling In

Posted on June 20, 2013 by sandi

P1010559 P1010560 P1010561 P1010562 P1010563 P1010564 P1010565 Jericho Yacht Club Jericho Tennis Club Jericho Beach 2 Jericho Beach 1 Jericho Beach Lacarno Park Granville St. Bridge Sandi and Eilidh EilidhLast week we made the move to the big city. Classes at Regent College started Monday, June 10th and so after a quick tour of our new digs, we joined students for lunch in Atrium then followed fellow-registrants to Room 100 where we gathered for Gordon Smith’s Spiritual Discernment course.

Let me just say a word about Regent College. The book store is out-of-this-world! Oh my!

It needs to be because it’s a graduate theological college influenced a good deal by what’s happening in Great Britain (home of world class literature and theological tradition) in the same sphere. The faculty hails from various parts of the world and across denominational lines, which has great appeal. It’s a unique feature that draws students from the international community and so the connections here are rich! I like hearing from different traditions other than my own because it reminds me that the Spirit doesn’t limit His influence to one particular denomination but is on the move across some of those doctrinal lines we seem to need to draw. What that says about them, I’m not sure, but I suspect they are fuzzier in God’s eyes than we like to think.

This is my fourth course with Regent and first one on-campus. Participating in student life will add a dimension that’s been missing up until now and I think it’s going to be strengthening and stretching in a high quality fitness sort of way. I’ll get back to you on that.

The other great joy is that Vancouver is home to our sons and their families. Our place is perfect for hosting dinners and babysitting wee grandbabies so we hope to have lots of company over the next 6 months. Yes, that’s the intended length of our stay in this vibrant, diverse and ‘happening’ city.

And we are tremendously grateful to be here!

Posted in Community, Faith, Family, Fitness, Grandparenting, Holidays, Home, Learning, Play, Regent College, Travel | 1 Comment

Striding Upon the Face of the Earth

Posted on June 11, 2013 by sandi

Fresh off the plane from Calgary and a few days with some very special friends, our daughter’s client needed her doula care, so in blew our sweet Gabrielle for a few days of blissful play!In the Gardenphoto

The decor changes from Arts and Craftsy/Country Living to Romper Room and we clear the decks for tea parties, forts, pretend restaurants with pretend friends that include Salmon-gone, Salmon-salmon and Baby Jackson. Babooshka joins us when Lamby is in town and it’s storytime between the bed and the wall. The setting is humble but the conversation is rich fare. Garden Patio Lovely Living

Gabrielle already shows signs of the gift of teaching and learning. She communicates with a vocabulary and pronunciation that makes it easy to engage for hours upon hours. Gord in living roomImagination and play are her work and I find unspeakable joy in coming alongside, for the sheer pleasure of the experience. It’s ‘real time’!

Yesterday I embarked on a learning adventure of my own, every bit as playful and full of imagination as my time with wee Brie. I have been a student of theology for nearly 3 years but this is my first Regent College on-campus course. My program requires I take a certain number of credits on site and so here we are. My husband and I are now residents of the City of Vancouver, apartment dwellers, transit frequenters until the wet weather of deep fall descends.

My prof, Gordon Smith, told a story about his granddaughter’s discovery of her independence; striding on the face of the earth, as he put it. There was an emotional surge in his voice as he talked about the joyful witness of what’s been happening from the beginning of creation, in the life of his wee beloved. Walking upon the face of the earth. Taking it all in. Fully human. No threat to the Creator as she finds her way in the surroundings with which He has gifted her.

Maybe this is what Jesus means when he says we are to be as children before him, imaginative and playful. Engaged with him in discovery. Striding upon the face of the earth in all the freedom he has intended for us since the beginning of humanity.

“Oh, the deep, deep love of Jesus; Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free; Rolling as a mighty ocean in its fullness over me; Underneath me, all around me, is the current of Thy love.” (Oh, the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus)

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A Busy Little Flower

Posted on May 29, 2013 by sandi

I once had someone say to me, “You’re not a machine, you know.”

Hmmm, did it seem like I thought I was?

Her reference was to the pace I kept; late to bed, early to rise, 15 minute gaps between ‘events’ in order to allow for travel time. The amount I accomplished was stunning, really. But the price was high.

It started with a phone call. I remember talking to another mom whose kids were just a little older than mine. By 9:00 am the house cleaning, clothes-washing, cookie-baking was behind her and her children were on their way to school. As I stood there in my pajamas in my kitchen, rubbing sleepy eyes, I determined the need to be more productive. Clearly.

The past 30 + years have been that.

Now, however, my body doth protest and it protesteth much these days.

Suddenly the word ‘rest’ and all it promises finds a place on my bucket list. Even preempting Paris. Is this new development a result of age? That probably has something to do with it. Increasing join pain is wearing me out. So is the travel, not to mention long hours in meetings, unfamiliar beds and the joyous and stimulating work of learning.

Lest you think I complain (God forbid), I’m told that excessive busyness and resulting stress leads to negativity, loss of perspective, and overwhelming discouragement. Rich ground for vulnerability and a loss of bearing.

Maybe you are one of the lucky ones, whose body, mind, soul and strength are Olympian. I marvel at your machinery. As for me, I am a flower.

St. Paul’s words to church in 1st century Macedonia surround my weary mind like a warm bath.

“Pray that our God will make you fit for what he’s called you to be, pray that he’ll fill your good ideas and acts of faith with his own energy so that it all amounts to someting. If your life honours the name of Jesus, he will honour you. Grace is behind and through all of this!” II Thessalonians 1.

I like the words of this Danish Proverb. “Don’t sail out further than you can row back.”

Dear God, make me fit to fulfill your call for me with your own energy, keeping in mind that my strength is small. All I want is to honour you. Thank you for grace upon grace as I rest in you.

 

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Welcome Eilidh!

Posted on May 24, 2013 by sandi

Eilidh Lily SmokerThe joy of new life is remarkable in itself but when it happens in my own family, the joy factor jumps through the roof.

With impeccable timing, Eilidh (Gaelic for ‘Ay-lee’ meaning bird/bright) Lily Smoker arrived on her due date on the evening of May 5, in her own home, with the helping hands of 2 midwives, her Auntie Amanda (family doula), and Dad. Her Mom worked very hard to get her here and by the grace of God, Eilidh’s entry into our lives is much cause for celebration! Well done, James and Siobhan!Grandpa & Eilidh P1010498 Mom and Dad P1010542 James & Eilidh P1010545

Dearest Eilidh, you don’t know it yet, but already you are much loved by oh, so many. You can count on our prayers throughout your lifetime, and our complete acceptance and loyalty, our intentions for your very best and a commitment to nurture you as you grow and learn to know yourself and our good Father who delighted to craft you with loving tenderness.

We will teach you how to play and dance and tell stories and sing. We will impart our love of books and people and creation. We will always love you. Always.

Welcome to our family, sweetheart! Precious, adorable little Eilidh!

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Nearly Time

Posted on May 2, 2013 by sandi

The last few days of a pregnancy are some of the longest. Our first child’s due date was April 4 and she took her time, arriving on April 22. Our second child’s due date was April 6 and he decided to stay put until April 16. When people asked me my due date and I indicated it ‘was’ April 4 or 6, their forehead wrinkled and they said, “Are you sure you should be out?” Like I might suddenly deliver on the spot.

Those were long days where I quit answering the phone because I didn’t want to tell one more person that baby had not come.

I fully expected our youngest child to follow the pattern of post-due-date arrival so we trundled off to Expo (’86) with 2 wee ones in tow 8 days before he was due. He is proud of his Vancouverite roots. I distinctly remember traveling the ferry home from the mainland to the island with a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a 2 day old to the dismay of several passengers. Add to that, the freshly stitched and bruised chubby face of our middle child due to his encounter with a jealous terrier and you have it about right.

Emotions still rise strong and memories are vivid when I retell the birthing of my children. It’s the same when I recall my granddaughter’s birth. I had the incredible honour of being in the room, cutting the cord and holding her in her first hours. It’s like the images are etched there, in a sense permanent.

It is a precious time, waiting for a new life to emerge. Our family is on the verge of growing and we are on tiptoe these days; expectant, patient, prayerful.

And already completely in love. Anniversary times! (and 4 days to the baby's guess/due date)

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Dignity. What Does it Matter?

Posted on April 30, 2013 by sandi

What comes to mind when you hear the word dignity? For me, it evokes a sense of worth. I think of REED’s acronym, Resist Exploitation, Embrace Dignity, indicating an intentional fostering of worth in prostituted women and girls, where the sense of worthlessness is pandemic – and devastating.

In our more ordinary lives of church-going, grocery shopping, child-raising, studying and working, we live out of the dignity of who we are. Or do we? Are we convinced of our worth in Christ and does it really matter?

Lisa LohnesLiving from a place of dignity is gospelized living. Created by our loving Father, identified in Christ, empowered by the Spirit of grace and truth, living from a place of dignity is the salt and light that point to the Source of all worthiness. The invitation is extended to us, His undeserving chosen, His beloved wayward children by dignifying love.

“Come to me, all you who labour and are heavy-laden and I will give you rest.” Matt. 11:28

“You are precious in my eyes, and honoured, and I love you.” Isaiah 43:4

He gives us rest from living out of a burdened sense of unworthiness. By the grace of God, we extend honour, freedom and love to others, valuing them as worthy of our Creator simply because they are created.

Dignity matters because the gospel matters.

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